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Sunday, May 21, 2006
~ 3:05 PM ~
Today is juz another fine sunday with a little rain and cooling wind blowing in through the windows of my room. Woke up at 12 plus, having nothing to do gave mi some free time to think bout many many things. Here r some tots that went through my mind. The countdown to the start of my NS life i getting nearer and nearer le, i do admit that i dun wanna go in now, not at this moment, not at this period of time. There r things and people dat i cant juz be not worried about. Yes, i admit that i'm still young, so wad rights do i hav to worry or even take care of ppl.
To me, i dun take it as taking care of her, but more of being there for her. From wad many ppl see from my past entries, seeing that i hav been goin to chiong more and more lately, is not becuz i enjoy chionging, i juz dun mind.
The most important thing is i hope to be there with her, making sure that things dun go wrong. Hoping that she will get home safely everytime after we hang out till the wee hours of the night. I noe there r many things in her heart that she dun wish to reveal, even to a close fren like me, i wun say that i understand fully wad is it that she is goin through at this very moment in life, but till a certain extend i understand the pain and suffering she is in and i am sorry for not being able to do anything to make things better. So therefore i can only find time to keep her company since i have nothing else on hand that i have to handle.
But what is goin to happen once i leave the Singapore main island?
She is the only one that i cant be not worrried bout, many people say i am thinking too much, but how many of u really noe wad she is goin through? So if u dun noe, i hope u all wun criticise wad the both of us are doing. Yes, i noe she is old enuff to take care of herself, i noe she is old enuff to noe wads wrong and right...but isit wrong to be juz worried bout a close fren, someone whom i treat as my real elder sister? I DUN THINK SO.
I noe one day she will get to see this post, sooner or later, juz wanna to tell u...
"no matter wad shit happenes in ur life, i am there for u, if u really do treat mi like a brother, cuz i long regarded u as my elder sister le."
During this period of time, u played a big role in my life as well, if it wasnt for u, life will be so much more dull den before. I appreciate all the things u hav done for mi as well, the time u spent, the concern u gave and the money that u had put in. I'm sorry at this current point in time i cant do much for u, but like wad i say once i get my pay in NS, u r the 1st person that i wun forget.
Hey sis, i really hope things will turn better for u soon, stay strong...be strong... i really dun wish to leave u at this point in time but thanks to the government i have to with no other choice. But like wad u said, i wun be goin in forever, there will be times when i do get to come back and step on the Singapore main island, when that day comes, i hope u will still hav time to entertain this "crappy", "lor soooo" and "bo liao" brother of urs.
..// LuCiFiEd \\..
